Barnabas Ministries Blog

There are a number of people to whom I owe emails and I ask your forgiveness in my delay in responding.  Please accept this email in so far as it may suffice as a substitute for my reply.

Typing places a strain on my arm even though the healing is progressing nicely.  I have had in-home physical therapy every day this week.  No pain; no gain!  I begin therapy at the doctor’s office next Tuesday which will be my first time to drive since surgery.  The stomach problem (ileus) following surgery has now cleared.  For some unexplainable reason the intestine and stomach completely shut down; excruciating pain with much vomiting and diarrhea.  From all that I am now very weak and feel washed out!

I am told that while in hospital June would look at the chair where I sit at our table and ask “when is that man coming back?”  Sometimes she speaks my name; but she is smiling, says she loves me, and responding beautifully with an almost continuous smile on her face.

Teresa Farmer, our care-giver, has the Swine Flu; she and her husband. Please pray for her and Brian to quickly recover.  June’s niece, Kaye, has been a blessing in filling in for Teresa.  Melanie has done what she is able to do and fulfill her obligations at work at the same time.  We pray Teresa will soon be back with us.  She has been a blessing.

This pretty much updates our situation.  We have been blessed with gifts of food.  We have limited our selves mostly to the den both for sleeping and relaxing so to avoid the steps accessing our bedroom.  My being unable to fully support June, I don’t want to risk her falling.  Hopefully in another week or so I will have regained strength sufficient to resume my activities.  Thank you for your prayers; continue them please.

This morning helping June out of bed her legs gave out and she became dead weight.  I eased her to the floor and repeatedly tried to lift her but could not.  Son-in-law Paul came in response to my phone call and got her up.  From that point on I was able to handle her, take her to the toilet and get her dressed for the day.  We have had a good day.

Fifty-four years ago when we said in our marriage vows “for better; for worse; in sickness and in health” we hardly understood the significance of those words.  Now I can testify to their importance.  Thank God we have the help of Paul and Melanie living near by, and Gail and Darryl when they are able to come from Greensboro NC.  Especially I praise God for bringing Teresa Farmer into our life as our in-house Care Giver.

Boots seems to evaluate the situation to the point that she is almost always with June and when she is incapacitated, Boots lets it be known that Mom needs help.  She has truly become a companion dog.

Needless to say Alzheimer Association has become a total disappointment.  They beg money; collect millions of dollars, but nothing is available to help the person with the disease or the spouse caring for the afflicted one.  Literature, help line which is no help (I phoned it), Respite care which they don’t actually provide (I ask for help during my hospitalization in a few days and I was informed they do not provide that kind of care); all the things they list on their web page amount to nothing.  Don’t give them any money.  It will not go for the care of Alzheimer people but fatten the pockets of those employed by Alzheimer Association.

I go Thursday for a squamous cell carcinoma procedure (skin cancer) and then Friday to Lynchburg General Hospital for one o’clock surgery for a total shoulder replacement.  Gail, Melanie, Teresa will be caring for June while I am in hospital.  Please keep us in your prayers.

June and I have just returned home from Riverside Park where a MEMORY WALK was to be held.  We left a half hour before the walk was to begin because it was raining.

Some of you reading this BLOG mailed me checks payable to Alzheimer Association in June’s name for this Memory Walk.  Next week you will receive back your check.  Those who gave online I can do nothing about those.

I will not support Alzheimer Association and recommend others do likewise.  Over the past month I have investigated their financial record and program.  The national organization receives MILLIONS of DOLLARS annually, most of which is spent in administration.  According to the 2007 Form 990 filed with IRS the PROGRAM section is blank.  However, they do list several items on the financial page which includes RESPITE CARE which is defined as “temporary institutional care of a dependent elderly, ill, or handicapped person, providing relief for their usual caregivers.”   The local association said all money raised from today’s walk stays in this area.  Over $252,000 is so designated as Respite Care for the Central Virginia area in which Lynchburg is located.

Friday, October 30, I will undergo surgery for a left shoulder total replacement.  Gail is going to take vacation time from her work to be with us during the surgery and the remainder of the week after I am discharged from the hospital.  Knowing the restrictions I will have based on previous surgery years ago, I will be unable to assist June in dressing and undressing so I asked for help from Alzheimer Association.  I was informed by their  ”President and CEO” that Respite Care provides organized program of exercise and activity for a day to give the care giver a break.  I get sufficient exercise  lifting June out of bed, off the commode, assisting her up and down steps, raising her legs to put on hose and shoes, lifting her blouse over her head.  I was informed that they provide FREE literature on Alzheimer Disease in both English and Spanish.  GREAT!  Perhaps I could avail of it and save the cost of toilet paper when I have to wipe June.  I have been living with Alzheimer Disease for nine years; I can write their literature for them.  They informed me the Association provides a twenty-four hour HELP line.  I called it and they referred me to Generation Solutions and Home Instead where I can employ a person for $150 to come and get June ready for bed at night.  Even the money donated through the WALK does not go for research.  The President and CEO said money designated for RESEARCH goes to that part of the program, which means unless it is not designated, it goes into administration.   Youth were at the park so excited that they were going to do something good for Alzheimer people.  I felt sad for them knowing the money they have raised will not do what they think it will provide. The MEMORY WALK money will pay the enormous salaries of their “professionals” and provide training for my in-house Care Giver who has herself VOLUNTEERED in teaching health-care workers about Alzheimer care.  Teresa has fifteen years experience in Alzheimer care.  Most of the “programs” they list are handled by volunteers.  There is no financial assistance for those of us who pay $55 a day for a wife to attend Adult Day Care, or need assistance while recuperating from surgery.  All their money goes to salaries, publicity, printing materials to inform, provide an 800 help line!

My email exchanges and today’s confrontational conversation with two of their “officials” leaves me unconvinced that Alzheimer Association is another one of those non-profit organizations that exist to salary people who otherwise couldn’t make it in the market place.  Other than what I have been able to benefit from reading their Web page, the Association has been absolutely no help to us.  Even programs planned to assist care givers are scheduled for places over an hour’s drive away from Lynchburg.  My support comes from other spouses or dependents who have or are now going through what I am.  I am blessed to have a wonderfully trained in-house care giver, Teresa Farmer, who cares for both June and me.

One week from today I go in to Lynchburg General Hospital for surgery.  Dr. Barnard will do a total shoulder replacement on my left shoulder.  Providing there are no complications I should be hospitalized no more than three or four days.  In 1995 I had the same surgery performed on my right shoulder.

Several days ago the State Trooper from Pennsylvania who investigated the accident in which I was involved last Saturday phoned to get insurance information for his report.  I asked about the young lady I struck with my car.  He said she was arrested for DUI.  I thought I detected alcohol when I was talking with her.

Tomorrow we will join others at Riverside Park in Lynchburg for the Alzheimer walk.  June, Boots and I will go but how much walking we will do remains to be seen.

Side view Mirror

About 5:30 this morning on I 81 south of Wilkes-barra PA I stroke a pedestrian, breaking off the side view mirror on my car.

I had left Highland NY at 3 a.m. heading home.  It was snowing and I came up on a car in the medium, lights on, heading in my direction.  On the right shoulder a car without lights was stopped.  I was in the left or inside lane when suddenly I was aware of a person walking in the highway and beside my car, and I struck her.  I managed to move to the right shoulder, phoned Emergency thru On Star and reported to the police that I had struck a person walking on the Interstate.  I carefully and slowly backed up and by time I got back to the scene, flashing lights of State Trooper, Fire Engine and Rescue Truck were present.  I exited my car and informed a fireman I had struck a person who may be in the grassy medium.  He said the person was sitting in his truck.  I thought he misunderstood me and repeated myself.  A young woman who looked to be in her mid-twenties walked toward me and said she was the person I hit.  She assured me she was alright but I had knocked her cell phone from her hand and she didn’t know where it was. I smelled alcohol.  She said she hit a slick spot,  struck the car that apparently did a spin in the road and ended up in the medium.  Her right front wheel looked like she had a broken axle.  Apparently her car came to rest on the road shoulder and she was walking on the road toward the other car rather than the shoulder or in the grass, and was on her cell phone reporting the accident.  Had I been six inches in either direction, I would not have lost a mirror, or she would be dead with a head on strike at 55 MPH.  It wasn’t until I got to a service station that I saw the extent of damage. I was delayed in my travel for almost an hour giving details to the State Trooper who permitted me to continue, saying “it was an unavoidable accident”.  He gave me a “report” for my insurance company but I probably will have to pay for the repair.  I will go to the Buick dealer Monday.

I praised God that I did not kill her.  When I was backing up on the shoulder of I 81 I was sure I would find a dead person.  The trooper asked me if I found the mirror.  No way was I going to cross that highway and look for it.  It was dark, snowing, and I had no flash light.

I had been in New York for our Charismatic Episcopal Church’s House of Bishops meeting after which last evening we consecrated Gregory Michael Ortiz as Auxiliary Bishop for the Northeast.  It was a glorious service; so wonderful to again be in a full Convergence worship.

June and Boots were happy to see me.  I arrived home shortly after noon. Teresa Farmer and Kaye Taylor cared for her in my absence.  Kaye slept in the bedroom across from our room and she said twice Boots came to get her when June got up in the night.  Smart dog!  I think we will keep her!

We praise God for the new medication given June, and for Teresa Farmer who comes Monday through Friday to our home and cares for her.  The laughter that comes from June now tells a story very different from what life was like for her and for me six weeks ago.  She jokes with me, tells me she loves me, makes little motions like she is going to punch me; all which was long ago forgotten.  I don’t know how long this will last but I take each day with thanksgiving.  This picture was taken today as she rested on the den sofa.

Filipinas Ga, wife of our Bishop David Ga in Dumaguete is visiting with us for the weekend.  Part of our sightseeing tour this morning included a visit with daughter Melanie.  Filipinas is presently living with their daughter in Coral Springs FL and Bishop David will be joining her in December.  This afternoon we are going to drive part of the Blue Ridge Parkway so she can see the color change; something unfamiliar in the Philippines.  Dinner tonight at the Peaks of Otter on the Parkway; their all-you-can-eat Seafood buffet.

Monday I leave for our fall House of Bishops’ meeting and the Consecration of Bishop-elect Gregory Ortiz.  June’s niece, Kaye Taylor, and Teresa will care for June while I am away.

Just a short note to say it is raining, has been for several days off and on, but today constantly.  Yet Virginia Tech continued to play football in pouring rain and beating University of Miami where rain is usually considered “liquid sunshine.”  We have taken advantage of the rain and stayed in the house all day.

This morning June was going down the stairs from our bedroom to the kitchen.  We have a hand rail which I always remind her to hold going up and down the steps.  I usually am on her side going down but half way I went ahead to open the front door and heard a scream.  I ran back to the stairs and she was sitting on one of the steps.  Somehow her foot went out from under her and she took a sit-down fall.  She has a slight abrasion on her right arm.  Tonight when I gave her a shower bath I discovered a large bruise on her buttock.  Thank the Lord nothing broken.  I rejoice that the Risperidone continues to help her function and thank the Lord for bringing into our lives Mrs. Teresa Farmer as our in-house care giver Monday through Friday.

It is church tomorrow.  Hopefully we will be able to attend.  Have a blessed weekend.

Doe and Fawns

Sitting on the deck  at our house we frequently get to watch the Doe and her three fawns eat the crab apples from the tree across the street.  Boots doesn’t like their presence.  They have become accustomed to her barking and tend to ignore her.

Today I had my six months check up at the Dermatologist.  He found something suspicious and took a biopsy.  I wait now to hear back from UVA.  He removed “something” that has been on my leg for several months which I think resulted from an insect bite.  And he is recommending a chemo-cream (Efudex) to apply to areas of my forehead and scalp to treat pre-cancerous blemishes.  I have to decide!

The Risperidone prescribed by our family physician seems to have kicked in because June is not having the hallucinations like before and shows no fear of me as she was doing.  Our new “in-house” caregiver, Teresa Farmer, is a tremendous help and does wonders with June.  Her ministry to June enables me to keep her home rather than placing her at Runk and Pratt which I was ready to do three weeks ago.

We have long time friends, Joe and Jan Smith, from SC coming to visit Sunday night.  Visitors are always a blessing because loneliness is a one of the hazards of Alzheimer Disease.  Ladies at Our Savior Lutheran Church are taking turn preparing meals several days a week for us.  I have been able to get two meals from their cuisine.  Friends are great!  And yes, God is good all the time!

Our friend Juli Clark recommended Teresa Farmer as an “in-home” care giver to help me with June and her Alzheimer Disease.  Teresa is an ANGEL in disguise!  She is here pictured with June who has just finished breakfast.  At present she comes four hours a day (we may expand it) and is able to care for June in ways I have begun to find difficult.  And June responds beautifully to her.

Last week we began the paper work for her to go to Runk and Pratt Residential Care Facility a mile from our house.  They specialize in caring for Alzheimer people, but my prayer has been to keep her home and care for her.  Our physician phoned this morning about the medical work and he will file the papers, but I will ask R & P to put us on the “wait list” indefinitely, and if it comes to my having to place her there, we can do so.  Teresa once worked at R & P.   I am scheduled for total shoulder replacement surgery October 30 and either I will require twelve hour shifts with an “in-house” care giver or June will need to go to R & P for a time.

I am taking one day at a time.  I try to look forward and plan for the future but at the same time I claim the scripture “this is the day the Lord has made; we will be glad and rejoice in it.”

Our friend, Archbishop Thomas Hines in Manila wired these roses to June several weeks ago.  After picking her up at Adult Day Care we came home and together we opened the package.  That night she talked to him on the phone.  Sadly, now she remembers none of this.

Last week June did a rapid downturn with her Alzheimer Disease.  If you look at the Alzheimer web page  ( http://www.alz.org ) you will find the seven stages.  Since last week June can be identified totally by the sixth stage.  She is hallucinating, fearful of things she thinks to be in the room, and fearful of me whom at times she does not know.

Daughter Melanie researched facilities in our area and last Wednesday took me to Heritage Green which specializes in Alzheimer care.  The Director took us on a tour of the facility and part way through I broke; could not take it and could not get out of the dormitory because of the locked doors.  When she unlocked them I headed to the car with great weeping.  I am not ready for that.

Presently I am considering all options for in home care.  Our physician gave her a prescription of a psychiatric drug for trial and is requesting a referral to a local psychiatrist who specializes in Alzheimer care.  The pill helps but it does not last.  Today it took me two hours to get her out of bed.  She is still in her night gown at four o’clock in the afternoon.  Lethargic and confused.  I may be making some major changes if the next few days are anything like the last several.  I have two early morning doctors appointments next week which I may need to cancel.  I can’t get her up, dressed, fed and to Adult Day Care in time to make a nine o’clock appointment.  I don’t know what tomorrow and Church will be like.

We have names and phone numbers for some local people who may eventually be of assistance and Generation Solutions office is near by and I will again visit them next week to ascertain possible help.  These last few days have been very difficult.  I wrote some friends that in my Bible study a few days ago I read where Jesus invited Peter to walk on water with Him.  As long as Peter had his eyes on Jesus he walked but when he looked at the waves and in his mind realized it was impossible for man to walk on water, he sank.  It is hard to keep your eyes on Jesus when the waves are beating the hell out of your ankles.